We first heard about Michelle Obama’s upcoming album earlier this week but hesitated portending until we could be convinced it wasn’t an elaborate ruse by the Onion. But here we are, today, cluing into the fact that the First Lady of the United States of America is in deed planning on releasing a fitness and health themed hip-hop album called Songs for a Healthier America in stages online.

The catch is that Mrs. Obama doesn’t actually plan on singing or rapping on any of the 19-songs. Instead, imagine something similar to the Gregory Brothers famous brand of autotune, only even less musical. First track “Everybody” has just been released (that’s it up top, download it here), and featuring a hook driven by Jordin Sparks and guest rap by Doug E. Fresh and… Dr. Oz, the piano, hook-driven track features Obama only with brief bits of spoken word. When the rest of the songs eventually trickle out on the album’s official website, we’d expect the same results.

Until they do, here’s the tracklist to tell you what to look forward to. Ashanti without Ja Rule? What even is the point?

01. Everybody (ft. Jordin Sparks, Doug E Fresh, Ryan Beatty, Artie Green, Dr Oz and the Hip Hop Doc)
02. U R What You Eat (feat. Salad Bar (Matisyahu, Ariana Grande, Travis Barker))
03. Let’s Move (ft. Doug E Fresh, Artie Green, Chauncey Hawkins, Easy AD)
04. Just Believe (ft. Ashanti, Gerry Gunn, Artie Green, Robbie Nova, Chauncey Hawkins)
05. Veggie Luv (ft. Monifah and J Rome)
06. Hip Hop FEET (Finding Exercise Energy Thresholds) (ft. DMC, Artie Green, and Chauncey Hawkins)
07. Stronger (ft. Shayna Steele, Jeremy Jordan, Our Time, Nils Lofgren)
08. Give Myself a Try (ft. Ryan Beatty)
09. Jump Up (It’s a Good Day) Let’s Move version (ft. Brady Rymer and the Little Band That Could)
10. Hip Hop LEAN (ft. Artie Green)
11. Pass the Rock (ft. Iman Shumpert and Artie Green)
12. Good Living (ft. Ashton Jones)
13. Beautiful (ft. Daisy Grant and Artie Green)
14. Change the Game (ft. The Happiness Club and Naledge)
15. Wanna Jump (Let’s Move) (ft. Paul Burch and WPA Ballclub)
16. Mother May I? (ft. Amelia Robinson)
17. We Like Vegetables (ft. Los Barkers!)
18. Get Up Sit Up (ft. Ian James and Ricky Baitz)
19. One Step Forward (ft. Samite)

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