People keep robbing Alanis Morissette
by Richard Howard
February 15, 2017
Not long after it was confirmed that her manager stole $5 million from her, a jewel thief broke into Alanis Morissette's California home and made out with $2 million in jewelry.
We don’t know if her super-spiritual persona has the scuzzier among us pegging her as an easy target, but for some reason criminals keep taking Alanis Morissette’s shit. Last year, we found out her former business manager Jonathan Schwartz embezzled nearly $5 million from the singer – which he admitted he planned to invest into a weed grow-op. She eventually got the dough back, and you’d guess karma would give her a pass for the next while, right? Apparently not.
TMZ is reporting that following a break-in at her Brentwood, California home, the Canadian star was relieved of $2 million worth of jewelry. She might be a flower-child type, but Alanis seems to have been holding some stones a bit more valuable than healing quartz and turquoise. The report says thieves took the jewelry from a “very secure area” of the home, conjuring visions of an Ocean’s Eleven type safe-cracking heist. Well, in my mind anyway. The only thing that would bring me greater joy would be her ex-manager Schwartz being busted for the robbery while trying to buy into a Molly ring. Serious though guys, quit jacking Alanis’ stuff before we get this guy on board. Leave Alanis alone!