Back in the late 60s, the only thing Iggy and The Stooges needed to bring with them on tour was their instruments, their amps and maybe a couple tubs of peanut butter. More recently however, the supplies for the band to go on tour with have been tweaked…just a little.

Oh yes. A Yamaha MT03 motorcycle for me would be nice. To keep. With a full tank, and a helmet. Well,
you can’t blame me for trying.

Backline Requirements
ALL OF THIS LOT FOR A START. 2 X MARSHALL VBA 8 X 10 CABINETS (There’s lovely)
3 X MARSHALL VBA BASS AMPLIFIERS Please make sure they’re good ones or we’ll all end up as
wormlike web-based life forms in the bass player’s online literary diahorrea. Honestly. He’s like a sort of internet Pepys or Boswell, except without the gout and the syphilis. For all I know.
If you can’t supply Marhalls, then 3 x AMPEG SVT2 amps and 2 x 8×10 cabs
1 X KORG 2000 DIGITAL RACK TUNER. Digital in the sense that it works via an electronically generated number system, not digital because it only works if someone holds it together with their fingers 3 x JCM 800 SINGLE CHANNEL MASTER VOLUME MARSHALL AMP HEADS 100 WATT
that have been tested recently. And when I say “recently”, I don’t mean “Sometime in the three weeks preceding the occasion when it fell 3 metres off the top shelf in the warehouse as we were fork-lifting it back up, after it came back from that Inane Clown Pussy gig where they had the ‘Piss On The Live Marshall Amplifier Competition’ (If you make smoke and sparks come out, and you are still alive afterwards, we’ll give you a bottle of Miller Lite. And a go on the band’s skateboard. And some clown make up.)

The sound it made as it hit the concrete!! BAD-OI-OI-OING!!! How we laughed”
No! I mean recently. Within living memory. Preferably that of a goldfish.
The actual model number of the amplifiers is 2203.
There should be six (6) knobs – which our guitar roadie Chris Wujek will personally count on arrival, (and trust me, he’s a very good counter I once saw him count fourdozen packets of guitar strings in what seemed to be the blink of an eye, but was probably more like 20 seconds; I would say he is the closest thing we have in our touring party to a mathematical genius. Very good at Suduko, and a genuinely pleasant chap to have around. On the other hand, he does have some rather unfortunate ideas on the descent of the panda. ( Please see Monitor Requirements Rider for further details ).
Where was I?

Oh yes.

Six (6) knobs (did I mention that this should be the number of knobs on each amplifier? So I think that would be eighteen altogether, Anyway, Chris has got a calculator)
And the names of these knobs shall be WAR, PESTILENCE, FAMINE…Aargh! What am I saying? I mean
PRESENCE, BASS, MIDDLE, TREBLE, PRE- and POST- GAIN.
And there should be two (2) inputs – a HIGH and a LOW. Which I think refers to their impedance, not their geograpical position on the amp. geograpical position on the amp.
Please – NO Dual Channel Reverb Units or you may find yourself looking down the barrel of a threatened species of bear.

With black and white fur.

Eating Bamboo.

Moving on…
4 X MARSHALL 1960 16 á 4 X12 CABINETS ( 4 x straight B type cabs).
That’s a shame, isn’t it? If they were all straight A’s, the whole stack would have qualified for a
scholarship to go to Oxford University. Still, their loss, our gain/master volume.
A GUITAR RACK *I’ve just been handed a note by Chris that says
“Guitar stands / rack : I love the multi-guitar rack when there’s plenty of room for one in my side-stage guitar world/banjo hamlet. Otherwise, I only really need 3 of those crappy, broken, unstable, unlockable, rubber-feet- missing guitar stands. That is, if we can’t get the rack.< So there you have it – straight from the horse’s mouth. I’m not saying Chris is a horse, naturally. Actually that would make quite an interesting fight, wouldn’t it? – Horse v Panda. I think the panda might just win it if he managed to get on the horse’s back and sink his teeth and claws into its neck. Without getting kicked in the bollocks, of course. Two hooves in the Panda’s gonadswould probably bring victory to the horse, though I doubt it would celebrate much. Horses arent big chapagne drinkers. And fucking Grand Prix drivers just squirt it all over each other. Cunts. 8 X HEAVY DUTY SPEAKER CABLES. (4 x 1 metre and 4 x 2 metre) So we can plug all the speakers in, and still waste half an hour wondering why we’ve got two speaker cables left over. A SPARKLING DW DRUM KIT (not black please) (If you can’t get a DW, please tell me , and let me know what other kits are available. Just don’t mention the “P” word) consisting of the following drum sizes 1 x 24inch OR 1 x 26 inch BASS DRUM, or Kick Drum if you prefer to call it that. What’s that in centimetres? 66, 69 possibly? If you have a girlfriend, now is the time to ask where you keep the tape measure. If you have a boyfriend, he’s probably sitting on it. 1 X 13inch and 1 x 14inch TOM-TOM, WITH MOUNTING. And if you can’t bring the mounting to us, we’ll have to send a bloke called Mohammed to the mounting. A stand mount would be fine, or a bass drum mount. Herre endeth the sermon on the mount. 1 x 18 inch FLOOR TOM WITH LEGS. Not stand mounted. Can’t stand stand mounted. ALL OF THE ABOVE fitted with Remo Ambassador Clear heads, top and bottom Or muddled heads and a bottle of Alka Seltzer. That’s Ambassador Drumheads, NOT Emperor 1 X LUDWIG 5″ X 14″SNARE DRUM. Complete with newish ambassador heads, coated on the top, and unbent snares please. Call me old fashioned… 1 X DW 5000 BASS DRUM PEDAL. Double chain type. With a footplate. And a little blue plaque with “William Shakespeare lived here for six months* in1586.shagging the arse off of Anne Hathaway” (*Not the whole six months, obviously. I think they woke him at mealtimes.) 1 X DW SNARE DRUM STAND, that goes up very high, and preferably with legs that can be flattened against the floor., for at least a count of three. 1 X HEAVY DUTY ROUND CLOTH SEATED DRUM THRONE. Because he’s a king. 1 X HEAVY DUTY DW HI-HAT STAND. A two legger would be super. As long as it was designed to have only two. 2 X HEAVY DUTY BOOM STANDS. Just fill them with gunpowder, light a match, and they go BOOM! 2 X HEAVY DUYY STRAIGHT CYMBAL STANDS. But we are equal opportunity employers, so gay stands may apply also. (They won’t get the fucking job, though…) SABIAN OR ZILDJIAN CYMBALS, as follows 2 x14″HI-HAT ROCK CYMBALS that sound nice and are roughly the same size 2 x 18″CRASH CYMBALS 1 x 19 inch CRASH CYMBAL 1 X 20INCH CRASH CYMBAL 3 X HEAVY DUTY FLOOR MOUNTED FANS. I’m making a hovercraft in my spare time All of the above drums on a CARPETED 8ft x 8ft x 2ft DRUM RISER/PLATFORM. That’s a 3m x 2m x 0.75m DRUM RISEr/PLATFORM for those of you who live in the metric zone Note to our American brethren: A metre is about 3 feet 3 inches. And ‘metre’ is ‘meter’ spelt correctly… Oi Oi, that’s yer lot. Thank you. Jos Grain MONITOR REQUIREMENTS We need: one (1) monitor man who speaks good English and is not afraid of death. {Only joking…. or am I?}. Also, he needs to know a little bit about monitors. This may seem a little obvious, but believe me…. (For example, in Santiago de Compostela, in Galicia in Northern Spain, they appear to think – if they just ignore riders like this, then supply a fat, bearded, ignorant hippy with a digital monitor desk (doh!) who doesn’t know shit about eq-ing, and monitor wedges that would be better suited to wedging doors open, and a load of stage managers and PA geezers and promoters reps who shout a lot – that this is the same as actually providingwhat the band needs in order to do a gig to the best of their ability. And that if they deny that their gear is no good, it will suddenly, mysteriously, become good. I would just like to say that the next time the Stooges get booked for their festival, I’m going to turn up with some pickled eggs, a small blue vibrator with a jelly dolphin balanced on the shaft, a set of dog-eared encyclopedias with the volume E-G missing, and a screwdriver that’s been accidentally dropped in a lavatory And then, when they say, “That’s not the Stooges”, I’m going to say, “Yes it is!” And then they’ll say “No it isn’t”. And I’m going to say, “Yes it IS!!!” See how they like it, the fuckers! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes… We do not have our own monitor man, because in the future robots will work for us and make the world a better place. Sorry about that rant about Santiago, by the way. I just wanted to get it off my chest, and killing people is just sooo 1980s, don’t you think? The next page contains the information you require. Bear with me. Not a real bear, of course. By the way, our guitar roadie, Chris, assures me that the panda does not belong to the “Bear” family, but is actually a part of the “Pig”family. Could this possibly be true? And if it isn’t, why would he risk telling me, when he must realise that I will tell the whole world his half-baked theory? Unbelievable. Here”s the Monitor Info Mix 1 – front vocal wedges. IGGY’S VOCAL ONLY. Wedges must be bi-amp, powerful, very loud, uncompressed and unlimited. Also, can we arrange to have them off the front of the stage inside the barrier [there is a barrier, isn't there?] -on flightcases, possibly? This will make me very happy, like a happy little bunny rabbit. About Iggy’s vocal – we need lots. The best thing is, make it strong and punchy, a bit like a boxing kangaroo. Then turn it up. When you think you have turned it up enough, turn it up some more!. When you think you have turned it up enough, turn it up some more!. A tsunami of voice Mix 2 – side vocal wedges IGGY’S VOCAL SAXOPHONE [during the songs marked "saxophone"] Bi-amp as above; one on stage left, one on stage right, facing towards centre stage, and switched up so loud it feels like they are eating your ears. Mix 3 Sidefill Stage left Mix 4 Sidefill Stage right VOCAL VOCAL KICK DRUM KICK DRUM SNARE BOTTOM SNARE BOTTOM SAXOPHONE SAXOPHONE GUITAR..clear and bright, like the sound of jackboots on wet cobblestones, BASS GUITAR Warm, but not humid. on a beautiful spring morning in 1932, just before it all went a bit sour… …Like Cali !!! For the sidefills, can we have two great big huge enormous things please, of a type that might be venerated as gods by the inhabitants of Easter Island, capable of reaching volumes that would make Beelzebub soil his underpants, and driven by amplifiers that could provide the power for a Monster Truck Rally. With dinosaur drivers. They should be as far downstage as possible, and only 12 – 14 feet [4-5 meters (metres)] from center (centre) stage. Mix 5 – Guitar wedge. SNARE BOTTOM. [I know it's always bottom. I'm obsessed with bottoms. I make no apology for that.] This is all Ron wants in his wedge. Good, innit? Mix 6 – Bass guitar wedge. Lots of SNARE BOTTOM Lots of IGGY VOCAL Oh, and during the show, could you just catch his eye and mouth the words “I love you”? Thanks. Mix 7 – Drumfill KICK DRUM SNARE BOTTOM GUITAR A good balanced mix of these three, then just a little VOCAL and BASS D.I. We would like to use wedges for the drums, please, but up on a box on his left side,with the horns pointing roughly straight down the drummers ear canal; And when I say wedges, of course, what I mean is big, powerful buggers; dormant volcanoes, ever waiting to erupt into streams of audio lava. Not “Made by Cony. 3 watts per channel max” Mix 8 – Saxophone Wedge …Er…SAXOPHONE. Wedge Suitability Guide Here are several quick ways to find out if the wedges you are using are NOT really very suitable for a Stooges concert. 1). They were removed from the parcel shelf of a 1974 Ford Cortina.. 2.) When you look underneath, it says “©The Disney Corporation – collect all 5 from BURGER KING™ 3.) They can be lifted above head height – easily – by your wife. 4). Er… 5.) That’s it! Jos Grain’s almost-Zen method of Iggy-Pop-vocal-mic-in-the-monitors style testing type stuff. (A kind of satellite navigator for the monitors. I made it up myself, so let’s call it “Twat-Nav”). Here is a useful, I hope, guide to doing monitors for Iggy and the Stooges. It’s not a conventional method, because I don’t know anything about frequencies. The last time I told a monitor man that the monitors were folding back a bit, he looked at me really weird, then he said MONITOR MAN “What do you mean?” ME “Well you know, there’s some really high pitched foldback in the monitors.” MONITOR MAN: “You mean FEEDback?” ME: “Do I? ” MONITOR MAN: ” What frequency?” ME: “Er, every time I point this mic at the wedges…” Right, my voice is what we doctors call “not very loud,” and it’s quite thin as well. I’ve seen fatter supermodels. Whereas Iggy’s voice is rather powerful, and also very rich and frequency-full. So what I’ve found works quite well is, if we EQ the vocal mics so that my voice sounds completely normal, with no frequencies boosted, especially at the bottom end, and we turn it up so that it’s as loud as a very loud thing, then when Iggy starts singing into it, all those lost frequencies will return and everything will be fine. You might even have to turn it down a bit. And here’s another thing. you might be anble to help me with. Why is it that lighting men switch the strobes on for ages, while everybody is trying to work, and when you ask why, they say they are “testing them”? Strobes are designed to be intermittent, aren’t they? So how can they tell they’re not fucked? STAGE PLAN AND INPUT LIST On the next pages you will find a stage plot and channel list. Isn’t it exciting? I bet you’re glad you decided on a career in the music business now… decided on a career in the music business now… Stage Plan BEFORE WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE STAGE, CAN I JUST SAY THAT WE LIKE TO KEEP IT AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE, ESPECIALLY AT THE FRONT? MY INSURANCE DOESN’T COVER ME FOR ALLOWING ROCKSTARS TO FALL OFF THE FRONT OF THE STAGE…THIS MEANS NO LIGHTING OR MONITOR CABLES, NO A.C. POWER BOXES, NO TOY ROBOTS, TELEVISION EVANGELISTS, NO TELEVISION CAMERAMEN, NO SUBSTANCES RELATED TO THE MANUFACTURE OF CREOSOTE, NO PLASTIC SEAHORSES, NO BAILIWICKS, CREPESCULES, OR KOOKS. THIS WAY IGGY CAN RUN AROUND IN HIS CUSTOMARY MANNER, LIKE A CRAZED, RUNNING-AROUND-TYPE-THING, AND WE CAN ALL RELAX IN A HAZE OF SELF-SATISFIED PANIC. JOLLY GOOD!! THANKS. Jos Good isn’t it? I could have been a draughtsman, but we was poor in them days, and what with the war still going on, and the bubonic plague, we had to give up on even the simplest of pleasures. My toy tank was sent of to the Weapons Department, melted down, and made into a real tank. I still miss sitting inside it, firing shells at the neighbours’ chimneypots, and machine-gunning cats. Happy Days. I wonder if the Fonz still looks 40. Apparently Iggy met that Ron Howard once. You know, the ugly, baldy one. out of Happy Days. Directs films. Got one of those faces you’d never get tired of punching. And Ron (Asheton) once saw Ron (Howard) in a restaurant with James Woods, the methodist actor, who is similarly sparsely endowed with handsome genes. Here’s an idea for a film, James. I’ll start punching you in the face, and you method-act that it doesn’t hurt. And Ron Howard can direct!!! Input list. *Please note that this document is officially not funny , FRONT OF HOUSE REQUIRED F.O.H. FX: 2 XSDE 3000,; 2 XSPX 990,;1 X DN 360 {HOUSE E.Q.}; 1 X COMPACT DISC PLAYER ;and MINIDISC RECORDER; ready to record All F X must be returned into channels. PREFERRED P.A SYSTEM >D & B AUDIO TECHNIC where ever possible Please tell me if yours isn’t, so I can get pissed off in good time.
PREFERRED DESKS: MIDAS XL4 / HERITAGE H3000 / XL3 / SOUNDCRAFT SERIES 5.
In that order
NO YAMAHAS and NO BLEEDING DIGITAL or I will chop the desk into a hundred pieces, and each of those pieces I will chop into a hundred pieces… so that’s like, er… tenty hundred? Anyway, then I will douse them in petrol and burn them. In accordance with local and national guidelines on the burning of bits of shit mixer, of course.

SO DON’T DO IT. I’m like a big nasty man if I get upset…
On a lighter note – We will supply all microphones and vocal mic stands. That are easy to throw. And hard to break. We will need intercom and talkback microphone to communicate from the FOH to the stage, switched up unbearably loud in the drumfill. As usual. Actually that was sarcasm. Please don’t put it in the drumfill.

Racks & mixers must have lamps. With bulbs in them. That work.
Please supply all microphone cables inc. 3 x 20metre/50ft cables for the main vocal lines
Any questions please contact Rik Hart! He da man! as they say

LIGHTING REQUIREMENTS
[This was written by someone who doesn't really know what he's talking about. I cannot tell a lie. Lights-wisely speaking, I'm an
absolute arse-head. But I know what I like.
And although nobody goes home whistling the lights, it's also true that no-one goes to gigs to stare at the fucking P.A. stacks.]
We had a lighting designer once, but he went mad so we shot him. It was the kindest thing. Now he’s a
light of a different kind, one of God’s little Gobos in Dimmer Heaven.
The point of all this nonsense is, of course, that we need someone to brighten up our day, and this is
what we would like them to do, if it is at all possible using the whiz-bang technology that is the modern
lighting system.
You know in the olden days, when knights were bold and the normal club lighting system was three
flaming torches made out of sticks, peasant rags and animal fat, lighting designers used to use these
things called “washes”. Nowadays, of course, these are more likely to be skin embrocations that serve to
keep the LD’s complexion unpasty, but in those unsophisticated times they were a bunch of lights, usually
all the same colour, or color, which made the stage go, say, red. Or blue. Or white.
We-ell. That’s what we want, really.
I mean, a nice white backdrop with some color scrollers pointed at it would be nice too, so that we could
have, say orange in the background and blue on the stage. But basically, that’s it.
Oh, and a lighting person who could just set a scene at the beginning of a song, then sit on his hands
until the start of the next song . I know that this seems like a tall order when most LDs suffer from some
sort of nervous disorder that won’t permit their hands to stay still for longer than 8 milliseconds, but
honestly, that’s what we would be happiest with. Maybe we could get somebody to sit next to the LD
with a big stick, then if they looked like they were going to “do lighting” halfway through a number -
with a big stick, then if they looked like they were going to “do lighting” halfway through a number -
WHAMMO!!! broken desk, broken fingers.
As for smoke, if you could save it for sending messages to indigenous North American tribespeople, I, Big
Chief Fucks-Around-With-Drums, would be um heap grateful.
And moving lights,? I hear you ask. If you do have access to moving lights, II would prefer it if they were
moved to the back of the stage, and left there. It’s not that we dislike them, it’s just that we think they
may be a little shall we say, overused? these days. Keep a couple for throwing static shapes in the
background if you like. That might be interesting…
Lights directly in the eyes are a real problem for the singer, so we don’t like spotlights or lights on the
sidefills , or lights on trusses over the audience etc. I know we have to light him up a bit but we have to
try to do this using the tlights directly above him.
Sometimes we do gigs where the LD tries to sneak the spotlights on halfway through the show.
Unfortunately, if that does happen, it then becomes encumbent upon me to find the LD after the show
and eat his entire family.
We really just need someone to set a scene for each song, then leave it. It’s not really too much to ask,
is it?
If anyone can come up with a suggestion for lighting that would add to the overall excitement of the
Stooges stage show, I would be pleased to hear it, but if it’s along the lines of “When they do a fast
song, I think I should flash all the lights quite quickly, whereas if they do a slower song, I think should
flash all the lights, but at a slightly reduced rate”, do please keep it to yourselves. My boredom threshold
is incredibly low…
So-ooo, just to recap:
Mmmmm!!!
5 or 6 washes in strong colours such as red, blue, white, orange, 181, that type of thing.
Colour scrollers juxtaposing background colours to the washes
Static goboid shapes in the background. Static meansing “not moving”.
Oh yes, some molefays pointing at the audience. The band likes to see their happy faces from time to
time. God knows why.
Aaaarrgh!!!
Constantly flashing and moving lights e.g. scans and strobes. Smoke. (I don’t care if I never see another
beam in my life…)
Spotlights and other lights in the eyes.
I can promise you that our singer (Iggy Pop, by the way) will make it look like all your lights are
attempting to jump off the front of the stage like a gang of par 64 lemmings. He’ll be all over the place,
like a mad woman’s shit, so you don’t have worry about moving lights.
Here’s a thought for you. Why not watch the band instead of trying to make patterns with the beams?
Unless you can think of a way of writing “FUCK OFF JOS” in beams across the stage….
I hope this is of some use to you. If not, you can always use the other side for doodling on. I’ll even give
you a pen. I can’t say fairer than that, now can I?
Some people get it, some people don’t.
Thanks for caring
Your pal
Jos

Filming Requirements
Filming – a TV Eye view of the world.
Hello everybody. This is a short message to TV companies, Video makers, Photographers and Media Types
Hello everybody. This is a short message to TV companies, Video makers, Photographers and Media Types
in general.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for people in the communications industry, in fact my
ancestors have a particularly strong historical link with the Postal Service, as someone once threw a
television repairlman at my mother.
However in recent years, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me on this one, there has been an explosion in the
number of, shall we say, persons blessed by the Good Lord with a complete absence of talent, attempting to
force their way, by any means necessary, into the public eye. Hand in hand with this, I’m afraid to say,
has come a massive increase in the amount of production companies willing to massage the over-large
egos of these unfortunate individuals, and to allow them the airtime they crave. It’s got to a point where
there are companies who assume that everyone who walks onto a stage is a desperate, attention-seeking
moron, who will put up with any amount of intrusion just to get themselves a little footage.
I have to say that The Stooges are not those guys!
Media attention – GOOD! Interfering with performance – BAD!
Could I therefore request that all putative film-makers and budding Hollywood directors ask themselves
the following questions:
1. What type of film am I trying to make?
2. Am I making a pop video, or am I documenting a live show?
Because the fact is, as soon as you push a camera into the face of an artiste, you completely change the
nature of their performance. The Stooges do try to give their audience a great show, but I think there is
nothing more soul-destroying than to see a band on stage surrounded by cameramen and their assistants
scurrying about like bazooka-wielding hobbits.
it’s just a gig. nobody’s going to get an oscar for best camerawork.
With today’s technology, anyone can get a close-up of anything without a man in a little go-kart tracking
its every move. It’s unnecessary, and it looks horrible.
Fly-on-the-wall, lovey, think fly-on-the-wall.
That’s it, really.
Oh yes, and Iggy adores breaking cameras. Did I mention that?? So really it’s best not to get too close to
him. Especially if he looks at you in a funny way.
Of course, I will be on hand to try and prevent him from destroying your equipment; unfortunately, there is
only one person I can think of who likes to break cameras more than Iggy does, and that’s ME…
Thanks very much for your kind attention. You’ll get some intense footage whatever happens. Trust me
on this one. Jos. (The ugly one with the hat and the very, er, visual shirt.)

Catering Requirements
A BUNCH OF CATERING RIDER-TYPE STUFF.
Hello.this is a list of stuff we need for the day of our show. It’s not too complicated,
but if you’ve got any problems, talk to us and we’ll resolve them.
I think you’ll find we’re very reasonable people. Except me.
1. Can we have strong coffee & tea with milk sugar spoons etc all day?
You can provide a kettle or a coffee machine if you like,
otherwise i’m sure there’s a starbucks in your area. If there isn’t, this is God telling you to open one. …….
Oh, and some cups.
2. A bit of assorted food for the crew is always appreciated, at lunchtime.
Like a lot of people we like tasty food that isn’t full of pesticides and mad cow disease.
Thick vegetarian soup is a safe bet, with some salads and fresh bread; that type of thing. Lovely. For
about 4 or 5 people. 3. At load-out time, when we’re going to leave,
we like to be supplied with two enormous pizzas, either to eat, or to leave on the bus until we find a
truckstop trashcan with an entrance about 10cm/2 inches round,
then we desperately try to fold the enormous stiff pizza box so that it’s small enough to go in, which it
then we desperately try to fold the enormous stiff pizza box so that it’s small enough to go in, which it
never is, so we leave it on the side with all cold tomato puree
and stringy cheese stuff dripping out of the side…Anyway…one quattro formaggio and one hot pepperoni.
Or if there’s no pizza available some sandwiches or sandwich making ingredients.
Bread, like baguettes cheese, salad, maybe a bit of ham and chicken.
And some fruit. And chocolate. Yum yum.
But hopefully not one of those sandwiches from Subway with beef and alfalfa sprouts sticking out, like a
Florida retiree’s bikini bottoms. Yuk.
4. 6 litres of still water, 6 litres of sparkling water, 12 bottles of nice beer, and 4 litres of fruit juice.
……….I prefer grapefruit.
5. Dinner for ten people should be available, cooked at the venue or supplied by a local restaurant,
either at the restaurant or brought to the venue.
We need to have a selection of chicken, fish, and vegetarian. [Calling Germany ... vegetarian means "does
not have any meat in it".
That includes sausage. And whatever 'speck' is)
6. Dinner for Iggy and two other people should be available at the venue or at a local restaurant, after
the show
Local cuisine is acceptable, (i.e. local foiod for local people)
or steak/chicken, endangered species<[excluding moths and anything really cute], snake, whale, or nurse
shark
[with the nurse on the side, just in case [Well, we could get bitten, couldn't we?].
7. One (1) pack of Poker size playing cards (such as Bee, Bicycle, or Aviation). For me. In case I want to
do some card tricks.
Or in case one of the band’s girlfriends fancies a quick game of strip poker while the band are on stage.
For money, naturally.
8. Eric Fischer, The Stooges Road Manager, would like to acquire some pins, or badges,
I think he means, that signify the current country (yours)
so he can stick them on his tour jacket and look like a big YMCA power walker or something.
Is this feasible? You might have to call him to get a sensible version of this request.
I feel all nerdy just typing it.
We need two dressing rooms to be made available for our sole use, viz.
Dressing Room One. Iggy Pop.
You know what would be really nice? If you could make this room look less like a typical rock & roll
dressing room and more sort of…. Interesting?
Are you with me? Just let someone loose with a little bit of artistic flair… Er, do you know any
homosexuals?
And am I allowed to say that? Probably not.
It should contain: A kettle or water heating device of some description.
Some fresh ginger, honey, lemons, and a sharp knife. so we can make ginger, honey and lemon tea. God
knows why.
And some Chinese gunpowder tea. So we can attempt to blow up the dressing room.
That’s a joke by the way. Good job this isn’t an airport…
An English language newspaper like the New York Times, the Miami Herald. Or the Guardian (my personal
favourite).
Or a copy of USA Today that’s got a story about morbidly obese people in it. Most amusing!
Somebody dressed as Bob Hope Doing fantastic Bob Hope impersonations
and telling all those hilarious Bob Hope jokes about golf and Hollywood and Bing Crosby.
Oh God, I wish I’d been alive in those days, so Bob Hope could have come and entertained me
before I went off and got shot.
What joy they must have experienced…
A big bucket of ice, or a refridgerator, containing:
2 litres good quality still mineral water. I think it should originate in the country we are in.
4 cans of Red Bull. bottles of Grolsch or decent local beer.
6 Some cups and glasses.
2 bottles of smooth, full-bodied, Bordeaux type red wine.
Probably French. And something we’ve heard of, but still can’t pronounce.
Look, there’s fucking loads of good red wines. Ask the man in the wine shop. Or here’s a number of
Look, there’s fucking loads of good red wines. Ask the man in the wine shop. Or here’s a number of
suggestions.
1st choice Medoc, St. Emilion, Pamerol, or Pauillac, years ‘86, ‘89, ‘90 2nd choice Barolo or Barbaresco
‘89 or ‘90
4 large, clean towels. See? Not all that bad, is it?
Dressing Room Two. The Stooges
3 cases x 12oz bottles of still mineral water. Good quality. Doesn’t have to be French, though.
6 large bottles of good quality sparkling water. Again, un-French is good. Unless we are in France, in
which case -
What a marvellous country you have here.
1 x case of big bottles of good, premium beer. You decide. But remember, I might ask you to taste a
bottle, so buy something nice!!
Here’s a clue – it’s probably won’t start with a letter “B” and end with “udweiser”.
6 cans of red bull or similar. Something with testicles in it. Or testicles lite.
6 bottles of alcohol free beer The saxophonist likes to mix it with his whisky. And vodka. And other beer,
probably.
Is that classed as having a bit of a drink problem, having to pretend to be drinking, even when you
aren’t?
A bottle of vodka Decent stuff, please. Not made in bloody England. Some people seem to enjoy
that Ketel One vodka from Holland.
Our sound man, however, says it’s piss. And he could give the saxophonist a run for his money, not to
mention alcohol.
Ther’s no accounting for taste, though, so a bottle of Ketel One, or failing that, Grey Goose. (Down in
one, so to speak, haha).
I don’t know – do they make alcohol free vodka? In Denmark they have one called Spunk, which tastes of
liquorice!!
How we laughed. It’s not alcohol free though. Charm free, yes…
1 case of coke in cans. Well I think it’s disgusting stuff . Like McDonalds predigested sandwiches. Do you
know, if I had to choose between a Mcdonalds with coke,
and having my tongue ripped out and placed inside my own colon, I’d probably be licking my own arse
right now…
1 case of cans of assorted sodas. Ginger beer? Dandelion & burdock? I don’t know. Lemonade? 2 x 48oz
bottles of ocean spray cranberry juice. (48 0z is American for ‘large”).
But no blends please. No orange and cranberry, or cranberry and turkey. Cranberry with even more
cranberry is ok. 1 x 48 oz bottles of tropicana orange juice. Some kettle chips or chips artesanale or
hand-made chips or…. Do you know what i mean? Real, old fashioned, proper potato chips.
But from a different kettle to the one they made the vodka in. Cauliflower /broccoli, cut into individual
florets and thrown immediately into the garbage. I fucking hate that. Nearly finished now. I think I could do
with a rest. I’ve been on me feet all day. Really!
Somebody stole all the chairs out of the office. Bastards.
Some crackers And maybe some dips. Hummus and taramasalata. Today the world, tamarasalata. Nuts.
Assorted nibbly things.
A bit of fresh bread, some corn chips, smoked fish, tinned sardines & tinned tuna. In water, not oil,
10 packs of American Spirit cigarettes. Actually, i know that unless you live in the United States

For the rest of the list (and there is much more) head to the Street Carnage blog.