Dressed like some sort of gypsy cowboy, Axl rose defied the odds when he showed up on time for last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! (which yes, we realize is taped), his first TV interview in over 20-years (besides this one). Surprisingly, it went pretty well, even with Kimmel antagonizing him immediately about his reputation for tardiness.

After marching out to a raucous applause from the audience, Kimmel said, “First off, you’re right on time. It’s unbelievable, you’re very punctual…”

“It’s a miracle,” replied Rose.

Later, the two talked about Rose’s brief stint as a manager at a video store.

“Did you have to scold people for being late,” asked Kimmel.

“A little,” said Rose. “I was more lenient.”

The fact that they made it the whole way through the interview without anything insane happening speaks volumes about how lucid Rose was. It’s a rare instance of a rock star shedding a chunk of his image, and in spite of its 12-minute runtime, one worth watching in full.

Press-shy Axl Rose has scheduled a rare interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live for October 24 to promote the upcoming Guns N’ Roses shows at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and if you know Axl, you know that any number of things might go wrong. Here are 6 guesses.

1. He might decline and write a letter.

2. He might just write a letter anyway.

3. He might slip and fall in front of everyone.

4. He might be an hour late. And people might throw bottles at him.

5. He might not show up until 5:30 a.m.

6. He might not show up for 15 years.

Yes, fuck Chris Brown. He’s a violent, horrible dude. He shouldn’t be forgiven and his actions shouldn’t be forgotten. No argument.

Chris Brown is also becoming a soft target. He’s unlikable in every other aspect of his life, from Twitter to Good Morning America, and his music is sub-guilty pleasure levels of bad. And so everyone who writes about music, be it in the pages of a printed magazine or on their personal Tumblr, is getting their moment to stand up and let the world know just how much they hate it when men hit women.

I guess we should try to be consistent, so…

The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band Beyond his history of verbal abuse, John Lennon beat his first wife, Cynthia, and allegedly beat Yoko Ono.

Guns N’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction Erin Everly, in the inspiration for “Sweet Child o’ Mine,” called her marriage to Axl Rose a “nightmare of domestic violence.” She filed a lawsuit against him in 1994, which was settled out of court for a rumoured sum of one million dollars.

Dr. Dre – The Chronic Dr. Dre brutally assaulted Dee Barnes in front of a crowd of people, who his bodyguard held back. When she ran into a woman’s bathroom, he followed her in and continued to punch her in the back of the head. He released the critically-acclaimed album The Chronic the next year and was nominated for two Grammy Awards. Eminem jokes about it in “Guilty Conscience.”

Yanni – Yanni Live at the Acropolis Yanni ordered his girlfriend to move out in the middle of dinner, called her a “cunt” and a “whore,” then slapped her.

Mötley Crüe – Girls, Girls, Girls Vince Neil was charged with domestic violence in 2011. Tommy Lee spent six month in jail for beating his wife, Pamela Anderson, in 1996. Also not worth forgetting — Neil killed the drummer from Hanoi Rocks in 1984.

Man alive, what a lonely and sad time it was without Pop Uncultured in our lives last week. Especially since I have some very exciting news.

There is now a Lady Gaga doll made out of cat hair

Surprise! I have a new hobby. Behold my very first creation.

Me-OW! [via Vulture]

Glee co-creator will make a Dirty Dancing musical remake

If Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights has stopped filling the void, take a deep breath and seek refuge in the fact that Glee co-creator Brad Falchuk will be writing the remake of the 1987 original. Set to include both old and new songs, everyone from Emma Stone to Emma Roberts has been tapped to star, but I can’t help but ask why they forgot about the greatest Emma of all.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner. [via NME]

Axl Rose has rejected the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame [FULL STORY]

In a letter that rivals the stack Noah sent to Allie, Axl Rose gave a detailed response on why he refused to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame. Going on about the decision being “personal,” Axl forbid anyone from accepting the honour on his behalf, and luckily for us, I found a very rare photo of what happened when the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame first read his rejection:

RuPaul has released his video for “Glamazon”

So just in case you woke up today feeling fantastic, remember that no matter what happens or where you end up, RuPaul will be better than you; than all of us.

A woman who got pregnant at a Megadeth/Mastodon concert is looking for the baby’s father

After getting pregnant in the bathroom of a Megadeth/Mastodon concert, a woman has taken to Craigslist’s Missed Connections to find the baby’s father. I’ll let you know if he ever gets back to me. [via Spinner]

Taylor Swift will appear on Justin Bieber‘s new album

Confirming to the UK’s Capital FM that Taylor Swift has contributed to his spanking new album, Justin Bieber prompted the following reaction among citizens everywhere:

Justin Bieber cat hair doll coming soon. [via Vulture]

A bunch of pugs reenacted a Bone Thugs-N-Harmony video [FULL STORY]

Cannot wait for the original Snoop Doggy-Dog to weigh in on this.

Next: Jarvis Cockerspaniel covers “Common Poodle People.”

President Obama still doesn’t like Kanye West

According to Vulture, President Obama told a reporter that he still thinks Kanye West is a “jackass,” but a “talented” jackass, which has officially confirmed that the President is also tired of waiting for DONDA.

Madonna’s MDNA dropped in sales big time [FULL STORY]

Sales of Madonna’s MDNA have reportedly dropped 88% from last week, fuelling claims that her BOGO technique (buy one concert ticket, get one album free) wrongfully inflated her sales in the first place. As for what’s inflated her ego? That’s still yet to be determined. (OOOOH!)

Selena Gomez will star in an action movie with Ethan Hawke

Stepping away from music to focus on movies, Selena Gomez will begin filming The Getaway soon, an action film that will co-star Ethan Hawke. “I’ve been really focused on more acting,” Gomez told MTV News. Evidently, she was ultimately swayed by Ethan Hawke’s humble priorities.

When it was announced in December that Guns N’ Roses were among the inductees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for 2012, some hopes (or least vague thoughts) that the original GNR line-up might reunite MAYBE just for this ONE TIME, and who knows where that could lead, started surfacing. Looks like it is not happening, though. Not ever, probably.

Axl Rose has not only declined to attend or perform with his band, he has declined the induction altogether. He wrote a letter to the Rock Hall explaining why. It’s kind of long, and the gist of it is that he isn’t happy with the reasons the band was inducted or jabs that have been taken at the band by some former members, but here it is, in its entirety:

To: The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Guns N’ Roses Fans and Whom It May Concern:

When the nominations for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame were first announced I had mixed emotions but, in an effort to be positive, wanting to make the most of things for the fans and with their enthusiasm, I was honored, excited and hoped that somehow this would be a good thing. Of course I realized as things stood, if Guns N’ Roses were to be inducted it’d be somewhat of a complicated or awkward situation.

Since then we’ve listened to fans, talked with members of the board of the Hall Of Fame, communicated with and read various public comments and jabs from former members of Guns N’ Roses, had discussions with the president of the Hall Of Fame, read various press (some legit, some contrived) and read other artists’ comments weighing in publicly on Guns and the Hall with their thoughts.

Under the circumstances I feel we’ve been polite, courteous, and open to an amicable solution in our efforts to work something out. Taking into consideration the history of Guns N’ Roses, those who plan to attend along with those the Hall for reasons of their own, have chosen to include in “our” induction (that for the record are decisions I don’t agree with, support or feel the Hall has any right to make), and how (albeit no easy task) those involved with the Hall have handled things… no offense meant to anyone but the Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony doesn’t appear to be somewhere I’m actually wanted or respected.

For the record, I would not begrudge anyone from Guns their accomplishments or recognition for such. Neither I or anyone in my camp has made any requests or demands of the Hall Of Fame. It’s their show not mine.

That said, I won’t be attending The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction 2012 Ceremony and I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N’ Roses to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of “Guns N’ Roses.”

This decision is personal. This letter is to help clarify things from my and my camp’s perspective. Neither is meant to offend, attack or condemn. Though unfortunately I’m sure there will be those who take offense (God knows how long I’ll have to contend with the fallout), I certainly don’t intend to disappoint anyone, especially the fans, with this decision. Since the announcement of the nomination we’ve actively sought out a solution to what, with all things considered, appears to be a no win, at least for me, “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” scenario all the way around.

In regard to a reunion of any kind of either the Appetite or Illusion lineups, I’ve publicly made myself more than clear. Nothing’s changed.

The only reason, at this point, under the circumstances, in my opinion whether under the guise of “for the fans” or whatever justification of the moment, for anyone to continue to ask, suggest or demand a reunion are misguided attempts to distract from our efforts with our current lineup of myself, Dizzy Reed, Tommy Stinson, Frank Ferrer, Richard Fortus, Chris Pitman, Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal and DJ Ashba.

Izzy came out with us a few times back in ’06 and I invited him to join us at our LA Forum show last year. Steven was at our show at the Hard Rock, later in ’06 in Las Vegas, where I invited him to our after-party and was rewarded with his subsequent interviews filled with reunion lies. Lesson learned. Duff joined us in 2010 and again in ’11 along with his band, Loaded, opening in Seattle and Vancouver. For me, with the exception of Izzy or Duff joining us on stage if they were so inclined somewhere in the future for a song or two, that’s enough.

There’s a seemingly endless amount of revisionism and fantasies out there for the sake of self-promotion and business opportunities masking the actual realities. Until every single one of those generating from or originating with the earlier lineups has been brought out in the light, there isn’t room to consider a conversation let alone a reunion.

Maybe if it were you it’d be different. Maybe you’d do it for this reason or that. Peace, whatever. I love our band now. We’re there for each other when the going get’s rough. We love our fans and work to give them every ounce of energy and heart we can.

So let sleeping dogs lie or lying dogs sleep or whatever. Time to move on. People get divorced. Life doesn’t owe you your own personal happy ending especially at another’s, or in this case several others’, expense.

But hey if ya gotta then maybe we can get the “no show, grandstanding, publicity stunt, disrespectful, he doesn’t care about the fans” crap out of the way as quickly as we can and let’s move on. No one’s taking the ball and going home. Don’t get it twisted. For more than a decade and a half we’ve endured the double standards, the greed of this industry and the ever present seemingly limitless supply of wannabes and unscrupulous, irresponsible media types. Not to imply anything in this particular circumstance, but from my perspective in regard to both the Hall and a reunion, the ball’s never been in our court.

In closing, regardless of this decision and as hard to believe or as ironic as it may seem, I’d like to sincerely thank the board for their nomination and their votes for Guns’ induction. More importantly I’d like to thank the fans for being there over the years, making any success we’ve had possible and for enjoying and supporting Guns N’ Roses music.

I wish the Hall a great show, congratulations to all the other artists being inducted and to our fans we look forward to seeing you on tour!!

Sincerely,
Axl Rose

P.S. RIP Armand, Long Live ABC III”

Sure, Axl. Good luck with that.

The only other artist to decline an induction has been the Sex Pistols, because of course. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony takes place on April 14 in Cleveland. [via Spinner]

Say what you will about Gene Simmons, but he’s kept KISS a viable, mostly intact powerhouse for the better part of the last 30 years, and with that in mind he’s got some advice on how Guns n’ Roses could have saved themselves from their decades-long collapse. Among them? Simmons says Axl Rose could have used a good beating.

“When you misbehaved as a little kid there’s someone there to give you a what for. Then when you become a grown-up who’s there to set you straight?” said Simmons in an interview with Music-News.com. “Guns and Roses could have been the best band in the world and the reason they’re not is because of Axl Rose. Drugs, heroin, alcohol and all that but ultimately it falls on Axl Rose’s shoulders.”

As Simmons puts it, “you get to sleep in the bed you make.”

This is essentially an interview about an interview, but when the subject is Axl Rose and the context is that he granted VH1′s That Metal Show his first on-camera interview in over a decade, it’s a curiosity worth exploring.

Spin magazine wrangled the show’s three hosts, Eddie Trunk, Jim Florentine, and Don Jamieson, to ask them why the interview they had scheduled for after a show on GN’R's U.S. tour in Miami on October 29 didn’t start until 5:30 a.m. (because Axl runs on Axl time), whether or not the Slash/Axl beef is repairable (yes, they think so), whether or not the original GN’R line-up would reunite (no) and what Axl was like, basically (guarded at first but quickly friendly and fun).

The interview will be featured on the season premiere of That Metal Show, but if you’d like a little more host insight on the interview, read it over here at Spin.

Jimmy Fallon may be a nervous self-conscious twerp, but over the last few years his show has quickly become a surprising treat for the musically inclined, partly because his house band is the Roots, partly because he books awesome bands and partly because his impersonations are spot on.

Except for the other night, when he and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (apparently fresh from trying to cut his own hair) decided to treat/torture the audience with a bit of in-character karaoke. Gordon-Levitt hammed it up with his best (and still not very good) Axl Rose impersonation while Fallon weaved in and out of a decent Bowie-like mumble.

So if you want to hear “Axl Rose” sing Kelly Clarkson, “David Bowie” sing Foster the People and “the Two of Them” sing Lady Gaga, watch the video up top.

But seriously, “Whip My Hair” by Neil Young and featuring Young Bruce Springsteen this is most definitely not.

The days of Axl Rose‘s notorious tardiness may come to a close after the band was forced to sign a “Late Appearance” clause before committing to Brazil’s Rock in Rio festival this coming October.

Festival vice president Roberta Mediana has stated that the group will face a serious fine if they break the contract, and that “Guns N’ Roses‘ appearance this year was the hardest to arrange in the history of the festival.”

The clause comes after the band were two hours late to the same gig in 2001, and while the audience waited patiently, Mediana maintained that “lateness . . . can make the public feel uncomfortable and cause them to possibly start a riot.” Just ask the audiences in Sao Paulo, Vancouver and Philadelphia circa 2002. [via Music-News]

Axl Rose and Slash, once former bandmates in one of the world’s most renowned rock bands, Guns N’ Roses, have not spoken to each other since the latter quit the band in 1996. The last piece of material they recorded together was a cover of the Rolling Stone’s track “Sympathy for the Devil.”

Now the guitarist has revealed that a possible reunion isn’t completely out of the picture, but he says a few things need to happen first. The Los Angeles Daily recently asked him what he’d do if Axl called him, apologized, and requested the band reunite.

“All things considered, that would be a call I would be surprised to get,” he said. “If that really happened, I would have to clean out my junk drawer, too, but I don’t see it happening. If it did happen, I would do whatever it takes to at least have a conversation about it.”

After leaving GnR, Slash put out a few records for his Snakepit side project and collaborated with various other musicians. He later formed Velvet Revolver with Dave Kushner, Duff McKagan, Matt Sorum and Scott Weiland.

Photo by Jeff Jewiss/AUX