Since it’s impossible to address the total madness of the music industry in only five days, Pop Uncultured saves some of the week’s strangest stories for Friday afternoon. Enjoy?

Snoop Dogg was on The Price Is Right [FULL STORY]

Happy New Year, everybody!

A man got stabbed because he didn’t know that Beyonce and Jay-Z were married [FULL STORY]

“That shit cray” jokes aside, a 48-year-old man was stabbed (and is recovering) following an argument that started because he didn’t know that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married. However, in defense of the stabber, I had warned him that if he kept fighting with me, he’d suffer the consequences.

Nickelback doesn’t care that the Black Keys dissed them

After Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney referred to Nickelback as “the biggest band in the world” and “watered-down, post-grunge crap,” Billboard reports that Nickelback tweeted “Thanks to the drummer in the Black Keys [for] calling us the Biggest Band in the World in Rolling Stone. Hehe.” The following Twitpic has also surfaced:

Kanye West lost his mind on the internet [FULL STORY]

A year after declaring that “EVERYTHING IS NOISE!!!,” Kanye West took to Twitter on Wednesday to share his inner monologue and to announce the start-up of DONDA. In other news, I wish Kanye West would stop using the texts messages I’ve been sending him as the basis of his Twitter rants.

Jimmy Kimmel made a DONDA commercial [FULL STORY]

And speaking of DONDA:

Sinead O’Connor has reunited with her husband

After an evening of “mad love making,” Sinead O’Connor and her fourth husband Barry Herridge have called off their divorce, thanks to her “cave man” coming to “claim [her] with his club.” The singer then took to her Twitter to reveal that they are going “to be boyfriend and girlfriend again an stay married but we did rush so we gonna return to to b friend and g friend an be sickenly happy an go counsellin an move in in like a yr like regular people.. but stay married an we all in love an fuck every other motherfucker who dont like it.” Point taken, Sinead. [via NME]

The Weeknd are holding band auditions [FULL STORY]

But CALL OFF THE SEARCH. Abel, I have just the guy:

Justin Bieber has a new Jesus tattoo

Spotted at a beach in California this week was Justin Bieber and his new Jesus tattoo, who appears to be unimpressed at his eternal place on J-Biebs’ calf. While Jesus could not be reached for comment, we assume that from the expression on his face that he’s either not a fan of “Baby” or already bored of fan meet-and-greets.

[via Popdust]

Katy Perry is already writing break-up songs about Russell Brand

Following the news of Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s impending divorce, sources have said that the singer is already penning songs about her failed marriage. We can only hope that within those lyrics, whoever blackmailed Helen Mirren into starring in Arthur is finally exposed. [via NME]

Ludacris is opening a chicken and beer restaurant in an Atlanta airport [FULL STORY]

Set to open in Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International airport – “the world’s busiest travel hub” – is Ludacris’ “Chicken and Beer” restaurant, which will likely boast a unique brand of “Southern Hospitality” on par with having “Cadillac grills.” While it’s not been confirmed when the restaurant will “Roll Out,” the “Area Code” is self-explanatory, and we can assume that “Blueberry Yum Yums” will not be served. Now, what’s your fantasy?

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